What is the punishment for this?

Things a journalist ponders while others just laugh.

A promise fulfilled

If you haven't watched this yet, do so now. If you have then watch it again:

My first paid writing assignment!

although paid is sort of a strong word in this case....

Silverglate: FDA can slap device executives with felony counts

If you’re working on a medical device that’s new and unprecedented, you might be a prime target for government litigation, according to Harvey Silverglate, a Cambridge attorney who specializes in civil liberties litigation, criminal defense and student rights. 

Federal laws in regard to medical device safety, he argues, are sometimes so vague and complicated that it’s impossible to defend against an accusation of wrongdoing. Technologies and techniques that stray from the status quo are especially vulnerable because they are not well understood by the government officials and judges who ultimately decide how to treat them. 

A company accused by the FDA may face hefty fees or an involuntary recall, but Silverglate is more concerned about the people who get chewed up and spit out by the system.

“Life sciences and medical devices have become a minefield with regard to regulation and prosecution by the FDA,” Silverglate said. “It’s an extraordinarily dangerous environment that you can’t believe until they come knocking at your door.”

You can read the rest at MassDevice.com!

My Satisfaction

Epic Battle of Mongoose and Stork!

Watch this video on mute:

While playing this as a soundtrack:

The song is longer, but it's still pretty awesome.  Also, the fact that I randomly discovered this today gives you some insight into my home life.

Dear Church: This doesn't mean what you think it means

AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

http://cuteoverload.com/2011/04/21/release-the-dweebs/

OH GOD YES

Accusatory Twitter Bird

Sees what you're wearing today...

and is judging you for it. 

ICWUDT

Twist brought to you by M. Night Shyamalan.

(click the picture to go to the video)

it starts out all cute and you're like "neat-o, an albino raccoon!" and then it gets weird and you're like "what the **** just happened there?"... 

Dear Twilight Fans

While you were sleeping...

This is what happens to intruders in the dungeon...

There's no sense having shame in the dollar store

The Puppy Called Puberty

(From the deep recesses of the internet...)

A Puppy Called Puberty It was like keeping a puppy in your underpants A secret puppy you weren't allowed to show to anyone Not even your best friend or your worst enemy You wanted to pat him, stroke him, cuddle him All the time you weren't supposed to touch him. He only slept for five minutes at a time Then he'd suddenly perk up his head In the middle of school medical inspection And always on bus rides. So you had to climb down from the upper deck All bent double to smuggle the puppy off the bus Without the buxon conductress spotting Your wicked and ticketless stowaway. Jumping up, wet-nosed, eagerly wagging- He only stopped being a nuisance When you were alone together Pretending to be doing your homework But really gazing at each other Through hot and laxy daydreams. Of those beautiful schoolgirls on the bus With kittens bouncing in their sweaters. By Adrian Mitchell

Penis Envy.

I'll admit it, sometimes I have penis envy. But it is pretty much entirely related to how easy it is for them to pee.

Damn standing up, writing your name in the snow pee-ers. I'll be over here, squatting behind this tree and trying not to pee on my own foot. ::sigh::

Mobstah Names

Emily G-Dreamboat
Kristen S- Hairlip
Anne-Marie Singh- The Grown Up
Mary Parker- Twenty Eyes
Arezu Sarvestani- The Butcher
Jessica Johnson- Twinkle Toes
Hillary Hoffman- Kids Incorporated
Alicia Prewett- The Stare

EL OH EL

So what if the love of my life is a fictional character from 1985. DEAL WITH IT.
(Awesome comic from Cyanide and Happiness at Explosm.net)

RANT

OFFICIAL FIRST MARY RANT.!.!.!.!. THE HELL WITH EVERYTHING EVER FOREVER!

Specifically, Aeneas. Seriously, fuck that guy. Lameass Prince of Troy, whose mom is that slut Aphrodite. He accomplishes nothing during the entire 10 years of the Trojan War except escape, and he even manages to fuck that up by carrying his father out, who is old as fuck and about to die anyway, and leaving his wife behind. Who is totally fertile and still useful, unlike the literal dead weight of Dad. A dad who, according to this painting, wears Santa hats, even though it will be many hundreds of years before the first Christmas.

So he does escape the flames of his former city by running away like a stinking coward, and immediately sets out on an epic quest of failure. The first thing he does after he gets the hell away from those angry scary Greeks is bury his stupid dead dad and cry a lot.

The next thing he does is wander aimlessly around for a while, because he is too lazy and cowardly to do as his mom says even though she's a goddess and he really has no choice. The terrible fate she intends for him? Marrying a beautiful, rich, young princess and founding a family line that will eventually lead to Romulus. Literally the only thing he has to do to fulfill his "glorious" destiny is fuck his future wife. That's it. And he doesn't want to, because he's a total weakling.

There are more reasons why I hate him, but they can wait for another day. All this rage has made me sleepy.

surprisingly catchy

journalism at its best.