Dear Twilight Fans

While you were sleeping...

This is what happens to intruders in the dungeon...

There's no sense having shame in the dollar store

The Puppy Called Puberty

(From the deep recesses of the internet...)

A Puppy Called Puberty It was like keeping a puppy in your underpants A secret puppy you weren't allowed to show to anyone Not even your best friend or your worst enemy You wanted to pat him, stroke him, cuddle him All the time you weren't supposed to touch him. He only slept for five minutes at a time Then he'd suddenly perk up his head In the middle of school medical inspection And always on bus rides. So you had to climb down from the upper deck All bent double to smuggle the puppy off the bus Without the buxon conductress spotting Your wicked and ticketless stowaway. Jumping up, wet-nosed, eagerly wagging- He only stopped being a nuisance When you were alone together Pretending to be doing your homework But really gazing at each other Through hot and laxy daydreams. Of those beautiful schoolgirls on the bus With kittens bouncing in their sweaters. By Adrian Mitchell

Penis Envy.

I'll admit it, sometimes I have penis envy. But it is pretty much entirely related to how easy it is for them to pee.

Damn standing up, writing your name in the snow pee-ers. I'll be over here, squatting behind this tree and trying not to pee on my own foot. ::sigh::

Mobstah Names

Emily G-Dreamboat
Kristen S- Hairlip
Anne-Marie Singh- The Grown Up
Mary Parker- Twenty Eyes
Arezu Sarvestani- The Butcher
Jessica Johnson- Twinkle Toes
Hillary Hoffman- Kids Incorporated
Alicia Prewett- The Stare

EL OH EL

So what if the love of my life is a fictional character from 1985. DEAL WITH IT.
(Awesome comic from Cyanide and Happiness at Explosm.net)